Jan 5, 2010

LIFE IS LIKE THAT

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Laid up in the hospital, James Thurber passed
passed the time, doing crossword puzzles.
One day he asked a nurse, "What seven letter
word has three u's in it."
She replied, "I don't know, but it must be unusual."

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“I am a long time in answering your letter, my dear Miss Harriet, but then you must remember that it is an equally long time since I received it — so that makes us even, & nobody to blame on either side.”

– Mark Twain, June 14, 1876


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When Charles Lamb's farce Mr. H failed disastrously
on opening night, he joined in the hooting - "because",
he said, he was, "so damnably afraid of being taken for
the author,"

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Agonizing over how to put down his ailing cat, Alexandra
Woollcott consulted Dorothy Parker.
She said, "Try curiosity."

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Ernest Hemingway was once challenged by his friends whether
he could a complete story in six words.

He wrote: "For sale, baby shoes, never worn."

He is said to have called it his best work.

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When the Eiffle Tower was built, it was regarded as an eyesore.
Short-story writer, Guy de Mauppasant was always seen at a restaurant in the Tower.
When he was whether he liked the Tower so much, he said, "I hate this steel monster.
It is the only place in Paris from where I could not see it."


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The Bible does not contain the word bible.

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One morning there was a quarrel between husband and wife as
to who should make the coffee.
Wife said, " According to the Bible only man should brew coffee."
Shocked husband asked his wife, "Could you, please. show me where
it is said so in the Bible?"
Wife brought the Bible, opened it and coolly pointed out to the
word "Hebrew".

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In 1931, George Bernard Shaw wired Winston Churchill:
"Am reserving two tickets for you on the opening night.
Come bring a friend - if you have one."

Churchill wired back: "Impossible for me to attend first
performance. Would like to attend secong night - if there is one."

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In 1922, Ernest Hemingway’s wife lost a suitcase full of his early manuscripts at the Gare de Lyons as she was traveling to meet him in Geneva. It was never recovered.

In 1919, T.E. Lawrence misplaced his briefcase while changing trains at Reading railway station. It had contained the first eight books of Seven Pillars of Wisdom. He, too, had to start again.

In 1835, when Thomas Carlyle had finished writing the first volume in his history of the French Revolution, he loaned the manuscript to John Stuart Mill, seeking his opinion. Mill’s maid mistook it for trash and burned it.

“I remember and can still remember less of it than of anything I ever wrote with such toil,” Carlyle wrote in his journal. “It is gone; the whole world and myself backed by it could not bring that back: nay the old spirit too is fled.” But he rewrote it, and published the result in 1837.

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C H E C K B O O K
.....balances. The bottom half of each letter mirrors the top

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Here’s a theological poser: What happens to cannibals on Judgment Day? If I eat you and assimilate your flesh, how can we both be resurrected?

“It is not possible for two men to be resurrected with the same flesh at the same time, and nor is it possible for the same limb to have two different masters,” writes Athenagoras of Athens. “How can two bodies, which have successively been in possession of the same substance, appear in their entirety, without lacking a large part of themselves? In the end, either the disputed parts will be returned to their original owners, leaving a gap in the later owners, or they shall be fixed in the latter, leaving in this case an irreparable loss in the former.”

Augustine answers, “The flesh in question shall be restored to the man in whom it first became human flesh; for it is to be considered as borrowed of the other man, and, like borrowed money, to be returned to him from whom it was taken.”

I guess we’ll find out.

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Sherlock Holmes was based on a real man, Scottish surgeon Joseph Bell, whom Arthur Conan Doyle had served as a clerk in the Edinburgh Royal Infirmary.

Bell was famous for making deductions about his patients. He greeted one by saying, “Ah, I perceive that you are a soldier, a noncommissioned officer, and that you have served in Bermuda.”

When the man acknowledged this, Bell addressed his students. “How did I know that, gentlemen? The matter is simplicity itself. He came into the room without taking his hat off, as he would go into an orderly’s room. He was a soldier. A slight authoritative air, combined with his age, shows that he was a noncommissioned officer. A slight rash on the forehead tells me that he was in Bermuda, and subject to a certain rash known only there.”

On another occasion Bell challenged his students to identify a bitter drug by taste alone. They watched him dip a finger into the tumbler and taste it, and reluctantly followed suit. “Gentlemen,” he said with a laugh, “I am deeply grieved to find that not one of you has developed this power of perception which I so often speak about; for if you had watched me closely, you would have found that while I placed my forefinger in the medicine, it was the middle finger which found its way into my mouth.”

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On the morning after Jack Benny died in 1974, his wife, Mary, received a single long-stemmed rose. Another arrived the next day, and the next. For the first few weeks she was too numb to wonder where they were coming from, but eventually she called the florist to inquire.

He told her that Benny had visited the shop some years earlier to send a bouquet of flowers to a friend. As he was leaving, he suddenly turned back and said, “If anything should happen to me, I want you to send Mary a single rose every day.”

She continued to receive them every day until June 30, 1983 — when she herself passed away.















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Vowels are in order in 'facetiously'.
Vowels are in reverse order in ' subcontinentak'.

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Never interrupt your enemy when is making a mistake.
-Napoleon
If Christ were here now, there is one thing he would not be - a Christian.
-Mark Twain



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